So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my poor anus
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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