Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
