There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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