we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
