I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
