I have demons in me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
