I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
