I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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