It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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