I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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