Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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