she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
