you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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