Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
