I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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