I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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