Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
