You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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