Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
