I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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