grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
