hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize