i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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