turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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