Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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