The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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