Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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