omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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