omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
