she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
