Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
