smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
