u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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