Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize