white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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