dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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