my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize