He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
