hotel room ftw
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
