so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
