I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's get the cat blown out
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
