you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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