Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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