Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
