i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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