Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
