do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
