I hate your face
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize