my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize