I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
