Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
