So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
