is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize