Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
