Whod you bang
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
