You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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