I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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