i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize