The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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