I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
