Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
