one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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