i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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