member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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