God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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