took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
