big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
