I wish I only lived at night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
