3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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